33 Weeks

7 more weeks!  Woohoo!  It seems so close, yet SO far away.

If it's not one thing, it's another.  Fortunately, a lot of my symptoms have gotten better-ish.  Yesterday morning I woke up with a migraine.  Not fun.  I took the meds they prescribed me and it actually got rid of it for the most part.  I still had a slight headache, but it was enough to get me through 2 church services and Easter dinner with my family.  I remember feeling crappy last night and laying on my parent's rug in the foyer in front of the front door and just sobbing.  My mom found me and asked what was wrong and all I said was, "I just can't do this anymore.  I don't WANT to do this anymore.  I hurt so bad and I feel so miserable.  I just want him out."  She was very comforting and said, "You only have 7 more weeks!  It'll go by fast!"  Not fast enough, is all I can think.

But then I woke up at 2 a.m.  The migraine was back.  It hurt, but silly me just got out of bed to use the bathroom and then crawled back in bed thinking I would sleep it off.  WRONG.  I woke up at 4.  Went the the bathroom again, thinking somehow that peeing would get rid of a migraine.  Lol.  Sometimes I wonder why my brain thinks the way it does.  I think I was just so tired that I just wanted to sleep.  Then I woke up again at 6.  It was full blown.  I was crying.  Kyle gave me one of the migraine pills and some water.  Somehow I was able to fall back asleep, but then I woke up again at 8:30 and my head was still throbbing.  That dumb pill didn't do a darn thing for my head.  I called my mom and she told me to get a cold washcloth and try elevating myself a little bit by reclining on the couch.  So I did that.  I also had Kyle fix me a bowl of oatmeal.  Eating made it worse.  It seemed like no matter what I did, it kept getting worse.  The light and noise were bothering me big time.  I just couldn't move.  At one point I burst into tears again because of the pain and Kyle called the doctor.  It was about 1:00 and I had an appointment already scheduled for 2:20, so they said just hang in there and they would see me in an hour.  Uggg...

So appointment today at 2:20 didn't go as planned and I left frustrated and crying again.  These pregnancy hormones have finally kicked in and they are RIDICULOUS.  :P  I didn't get to see my normal midwife OR the doctor.  They were both out on deliveries, so I had to see the same lady I saw last week.  Kyle finally got to see what I meant when I said I didn't like her because she didn't seem to take me seriously.  She blew everything off and said, "Oh, that's just being pregnant!"  Grrrr.  I had to practically BEG her to give me some other meds to try for the migraine.  She said the only other thing would be Tylenol 3, but that most people don't like it because it helps them sleep and then they just wake up with a migraine again.  I kept thinking, at least they get to sleep!  At least it gets rid of it for some amount of time!  I told her that's what they gave me at the hospital last week and it worked for me, so she finally wrote me a prescription for it.  I took one a little bit ago and within 10 minutes the migraine was GONE.  I feel AMAZING right now.  Crazy what a little codine will do for ya... ;)

So here's hoping THIS problem gets straightened out! 

Now I'm 33 weeks.  Little guy is gaining about half a pound a week from here on out.  He will grow around another inch just this week.  The amniotic fluid is maxed out now, which means when he kicks and pokes, I REALLY feel it.  There's not as much cushioning in there anymore.  :P  His eyelids and irises blink and dialate now in reaction to light.  He can also actually recognize tunes/songs!  Within the next 4 weeks he should descend, or "drop."  I can't tell you how excited I am for that moment to arrive.  Then it's just preparing for delivery at that point!  Wahoo!

And guess what?  There's only ONE more fruit after this one!  This week baby moves up to.....HONEYDEW MELON SIZE!

32 Weeks

8 more weeks...8 more weeks...I can do this!  I think...

Friday night Kyle called off work because he wasn't feeling the greatest and needed a night of rest.  Little did we know God had him call off for a reason.  Kyle made shrimp tacos (major yummo, fyi!) and we ate dinner and just sat on the couch watching some TV.  I had started to get pain under my ribs earlier, but thought food would fix it.  Wrong!  It started to hurt a lot and I got really uncomfortable, so i decided to go lay down in the bed since it's the *most comfortable* (:note sarcasm here...with a bit of truth...it really is the most comfy place even though there is no such thing as a comfortable place when you're pregnant:).  As soon as I layed down, I had an instant headache.  Weird.  Well, after laying there and laying there, under my ribs started to hurt like nothing I've ever felt before.  It was enough to make me start moaning out in pain.  Kyle finally heard me and came in and decided to call the doctor right away.  Even though I told him I was probably fine and just needed to ride it out.  So they paged the on-call doctor (Dr. Moodly) and he called and asked me all my symptoms and suggested I go to the hospital to get checked out.  So off we went...

We got to the ER about 8:15 and they wheeled me up to Labor & Delivery.  They made me change into a gown and hooked me up to all the monitors.  My blood pressure was fine at that point...still around 110/60.  The doctor ordered another blood test (yippee).  The lady who did it was awesome and got the needle right in and I barely felt it.  However, my mind is probably very over-reactive and my psychological issues made me freak out.  My blood pressure dropped way low and I started to lose my hearing and almost passed out.  I felt SO sick.  And during that whole episode baby's heartrate dropped to 73!  Yikes!  Poor little guy.  :(  So they got me a bag to breathe in and a cold washcloth for my forehead.  I was so thirsty and just wanted to water.  So Kyle brought over my big cup of water and I sipped it and it kept coming out of the straw and spilled all over the front of me.  Ice cold water.  But I instantaneously felt better after that, even though it was quite a shock to my system.  :P 

At this point it was around 10:00.  So the bloodwork came back normal, but because of my fainting episode and the stress on the baby, they wanted to keep me until at least midnight to make sure all was well.  My blood pressure in the last 45 minutes started to drop again.  The second to last reading was 88/58.  So the machine started beeping and they just came in and switched it off, saying it's probably just because I was laying on my side.  My last reading was 80/43!  It started beeping AGAIN.  Once again, apparently that's normal because they let me go home after that.  Hmmm...this is why I'm not a doctor.  That still seems low to me and I'm kinda suprised they let me go.  So yeah, we got home about 12:30 and passed out.  Poor Kyle.  And he was freezing the whole time at the hospital because the room temp. was 66 and I was comfortable, slightly on the warm side.  The nurse brought him a blanket.  ;)

My appointment today went well.  I saw another midwife, since mine is on vacation.  She didn't seem overly concerned about anything and didn't have much to say.  So home I went.  Another appointment is in store for next Monday.

Now I'm 32 weeks!  Yahoo!  He weighs somewhere around 4 pounds at this point.  And 19 inches.  Holy cow.  He may only grow another couple inches by time he's born!  He's apparently practicing sucking his thumb.  I asked her today if she could tell which direction he was and all she really said was that his head was down low and his feet are on my right side.  So at least he's upside down!  That made me feel slightly better.

I do believe I've started having some really mild contractions.  I only get them every once in a while...a few times a day if I'm lucky.  It just feels like mild cramps and some hardening/tightening of my belly.  Definitely weird stuff.  It's just strange that my body is starting to get ready!

The furniture should be here sometime this week/early next week.  So in a couple weeks I will be able to post some nursery pictures!  I can't WAIT for it to all be put together.  It's really taking shape and is getting SUPER cute.  It's better than I had imagined!

Until next week...

Not the News I Was Hoping...

Well, I'm kind of not surprised, but I was so hopeful that I'm just devestated.  I went to the doctor today at 4 and she checked me out.  Blood pressure was 110/58, weight was the same, and I'm measuring a week ahead of schedule (32 cm.).  Then she checked my reflexes, which were still kind of bad.  The sweliing in my feet had gone down, but it was still there.  I mentioned that I slept until 12:30 today and about these weird cramps/contractions and lower back pain that I've been having the last few days.  I said, "I'm sure it's nothing, but I just want to tell you in case I'm wrong.  Especially with everything else going on."

She looked over my blood test results and said everything looked fine and that my protein count is even better.  She said my platelet count was in the 300s, so it's not HELLP (that syndrome would have my platelet count below 100).  "Something just doesn't make sense.  Your blood pressure has always been low and completley fine.  But these other symptoms aren't adding up.  I just don't like it."

So she told me, "Yeah, I'm just not comfortable sending you back to work.  I'm going to keep you on modified bedrest for the remainder of your pregnancy."  I just kind of nodded my head, half expecting her to say that, but hoping she wouldn't.  I asked her about our planned trip to Mississippi and she said, "No.  That's absolutely out of the question.  Only because all of this came on so quickly and if it comes on quickly again while you're down there, that could be really bad.  Then you may have to deliver in a strange place with strange people who aren't aware and prepared for your situation."  I about cried.  I knew she was going to tell me that, but once again, I was hoping I wouldn't hear those words.

So here I am.  Sitting here the majority of the day by myself.  Daytime TV is crappy, my rear end hurts from all the sitting, I sleep until late morning/early afternoon, and I just am so unmotivated right now to try and keep up with the house.  This just all breaks my heart.  I know it's worth it for my health and the health of my son, but right now it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and the benefits. 

*Sigh*

A song popped in my head that I used to listen to all the time when I was in college.  I feel like it's so applicable right now.  My comfort is in Jesus.

"If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

CHORUS:
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

No News is Good News? Maybe?

Well, I wasn't going to post until Monday, but I'll go ahead and give an update.

Wednesday I did my 24-hour urine test and Thursday morning I had my blood test.  I went back to the doctor Thursday afternoon at 4:5o where I was supposed to get my results.  My mom even came because she wanted to know what was going on and ask some questions (she has a bit of a medical background, so she's knows what to ask, whereas I have no clue). 

My weight and blood pressure were checked.  Stil only a gain of 4 pounds.  Blood pressure was 112/60.  The midwife ran in and said, "Ok, I'm going to check you really fast because I have a girl who is complete and I need to go deliver a baby!"  So she measured me really fast and asked me how I'd been feeling.  I told her my headache was gone, but I still had pain in my stomach/rib area and have felt really nauseous.  She said the swelling looked like it had gone down in my face.  Kyle said, "Now can she go to work Monday?"  And she said, "No!  No work Monday."  She checked my test results real fast and said, "Your numbers look good...maybe it was just a fluke?  I'm not sure.  We will talk to more Monday.  I need to go."  She rushed out.  The whole appointment lasted maybe a minute and a half.  Maybe.  I turned and looked at Kyle and my mom and just stared at them thinking, what just happened?  I just sat there for a minute.  We all did. 

I TOTALLY get why she had to leave in a hurry.  And I'm glad to know when I go into labor that they won't waste any time getting over there when I'm ready.  However, I've spent the past few days panicking (we all have) and I received no answers.  It's not her fault at all, it was just bad timing.  But I keep telling myself, well, it must not be too bad or she would've had someone else come in to talk to me or she would've sent me to the hospital and let them deal with me. 

So that's where we're at until my next appointment on Monday at 4.  *Sigh*  I just hope I get some answers.  The pain I have in my upper abdominal region is really painful at times.  And I will sleep at night, but it's not good sleep.  It takes me a whole day to get the rest I need between nighttime sleep and all my little naps here and there.  I'm getting ready to go take another one now.  And sometimes the sweling is gone and the all of a sudden I can hardly bend my fingers and my legs feel so heavy.  It goes to extremes.  Suddenly it will be there and suddenly it will go away.  I know swelling is totally normal during pregnancy (I watched my sister's ankles blow up last year when she was pregnant...it was insane!).  But it just seems like mine is really inconsistent and goes through extremes.  And now I'm developing major back pain.  And the hard part is walking across the house can leave me MAJORLY out of breath.  I mean, I'm huffing and puffing and have to stop and sit down.  I've also started getting these weird pains down real low.  They'll come and go really fast, but it feels like a sharp, stabbing pain below my belly.  It's not too bad, it just causes me to gasp all of a sudden and think, "Ow, what was that???"  I get about 2 or 3 a day.  I'm not concerned yet, as I'm sure it's "just another thing."  And I can definitely tell he's moved down a little because his hiccups and arm movements are getting lower and lower.

It's just hard because I don't know what's normal and what's not.  And I don't know how extreme certain things have to become to turn into a real issue.  But all in all, I feel a lot more rested and relaxed.  But I'm still having issues.  As I've said countless times before, maybe I'm just a big wuss and can't handle this.  And I feel like I've complained my whole pregnancy, which I hate.  :/  I pretty much envy the people that go through pregnancy like a champ and fight through it and you'd never know they were uncomfortable.

Well, I will update again Monday night.  For right now, I'm going to take another nap...

Bump in the Road

If you haven't read my previous post, you might want to.  It will go back and explain some of the things I've been going through over the past several days.  I could stretch this out and make it a long story, but I will do my best to condense and get to specifics.  Stick with me here...

So I had a normal appointment today.  Blood pressure was fine...110/60.  I wondered if something was up when baby's heart rate was in the 130s.  And that is NOT a bad thing, just not normal for us.  Baby has ALWAYS been in the 150s.  Always.  So the fact that he was down a little bit was confusing, but I really didn't think a thing about it.  Especially since he was active and moving around.  Like I said, totally normal and of no concern whatsoever...just slightly eyebrow-raising considering what has always been of norm.

She came in and measured my belly and asked me how I had been feeling.  I said, "Eh, not very good over the past week.  I've actually felt really horrible."  I continued to explain all my symptoms (headache for the past week that has NOT gone away, no matter what I take, sleeping 4-5 hours a night, shortness of breath, nausea, pain under my ribs, faintness, paleness, not being able to eat, etc.) and told her about my episode on Friday (once again, see previous post).  She got very serious and just stared at me.  She asked me to sit up and she pulled up my pant legs.  She looked at my swollen legs and feet and checked my reflexes.  I thought I was normal and fine.  Until she said, "I'm not liking what you're telling me and I'm not liking what I'm seeing.  We need to have some blood work done."

She said my reflexes were alarming to her.  Something about how when she would push on me, my feet would push back at her twice.  Don't really know what that means, but she didn't like it, haha.  She is concerned about me possibly have toxemia.  She told me about a number of tests and appointments I need to have set up and I asked her if I needed to just take the next 2 days off work and she looked at me and said, "Uh, you're not working until at least Monday.  And then, depending on your test results and how you handle bedrest, you may be off until you deliver."  I think my jaw dropped at that point, my lip started to quiver, and my eyes welled with tears.  I asked her, "Well, what happens if I DO have toxemia?"  She said, "Unfortunately, the only cure for toxemia is delivery."  As you can imagine, I completely freaked out in my head.  Kyle spoke up and said, "You NEED to tell my wife this.  She works herself too hard and unless you tell her she needs to stay off her feet, she's going to keep on working harder than she should."  And then I admitted, "It's true...I'm a bit of a workaholic and push myself.  So unless you say I'm on bedrest and need to take it easy, I'm going to keep on doing what I do and think I'm invincible."  She just stared at me again and told me I HAVE to be on bedrest and take it easy.  No questions.  She was dead serious.  And I actually believe her.

So what now?  Well, first of all I went back to the school to get stuff ready for a sub for the rest of the week.  I called my assistant principal to let him know I'd be out the rest of the week and would need a sub.  Then I called my principal to update her and let her know what was up.  She was kind enough to send out an e-mail to the staff to let them know what was going on.  Then I called a fellow team-member from across the hall to update her so that she could inform the rest of my team and keep a look out for my room and sub.  Ahhh...I panic about not being there, haha.  I'm learning to LET IT GO.

Tomorrow morning I have to head the lab to get a urine kit (that sounds weird...lol...).  I will have to collect a urine sample for 24 hours straight.  That will be fun, I'm sure.  Thursday morning I head back into the lab first thing in the morning for a blood test and to "turn in my sample."  They are checking my liver enzymes and some other things which I don't know what they are (if any of you are nurses or know anything about all this, they're taking blood to check: CBC/Platelets (diff.); Routine UA w micro; 24 Hr. Urine Creat Clear; 24 Hr. Urine Protein; Amylase; Lipase; Uric Acid; Albumin; Total Protein; Alk. Phos.; SGOT; SGPT; T. Bilirubin; Dir. Bilirub....don't know what ANY of that means...).  Thursday afternoon I go back to the OB to go over the test results.  Monday I will be re-evaluated to see how I handled bedrest and what steps to take next.  Whew.

Needless to say, I'm a bit freaked out.  I was shaking for a good hour as everything set in.  But Kyle and I KNOW that God has me and baby protected and that He will work all things out for good.  Things may not be exactly what I had planned or what seemed right, but goodness knows He knows WAY better than I do.  He's NEVER let me down and I have no reason to believe He would now.  That's not His character.  That's not who He is.  Am I nervous?  Yes.  Am I afraid?  I can honestly say, not really.  I think I'm more freaked out that this path I was on has a big bump in it and has made things a little off-course.  But I'm not scared.  Just holding on tight.

I will post again Thursday night at some point to give an update about the blood test results.  Until then...

30 Weeks

Now I'm starting to see why everyone laughs when you complain about how uncomfortable you are and they say, "Haha!  Just you wait!"  Yep.  It gets WORSE.  When I didn't think it was even possible...  It's literally getting hard to walk, it's very hard to breathe, and sitting is really awful, even though I can't live without it.  The best position is laying down on my side, even though after a few hours it makes my hips hurt.  It's like I have to constantly be switching my body position because if I'm a certain way too long, I cry.  Ha!  Literally.  I really think I'm the biggest whimp in the world. 

The worst part is I'm eating like a bird because I'm honestly out of room.  Baby is taking up so much space I just don't have anywhere for food to go.  For example, yesterday I had a small bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, half an enchilada for lunch, a small salad for dinner, and then a banana with Nutella for a late-night snack.  And the only reason I ate the banana was because I was feeling so sick and I knew I needed food for me and the baby to keep us going.  Tonight we got El Campo and I ordered a beef and cheese burrito, a taco, and some queso with chips.  They kinda messed up my order and what I got was a steak and cheese burrito with a side of rice, an order of lettuce, tomato, and sour cream, a taco, and queso and chips.  What I ATE was the rice and all the lettuce, and about 5 chips with queso.  And I'm done. 

Yesterday was al ittle scary.  I woke up with a migraine and then slept until 11:30.  I had major stomach pain and pain right under my ribs that feels kinda like bruising.  The headache never fully went away and lasted through the day, even when taking my prescribed migraine meds.  I went up to the school to work in my classroom for 5 hours and I honest to goodness thought my only option was to call 911.  I knew Kyle was at work and my family was in Columbus, so I knew nobody could get there quick enough.  I suddenly felt VERY lightheaded, sick to my stomach, hot as all get out (I hobbled over to the fan and turned it on), and very short of breath.  Fortunately, once I turned on the fan, drank some water, and went to pee I felt a lot better.  It was quite scary, mainly because nobody was around.  And to top it off, I didn't feel him move as much as normal yesterday.  If I felt anything, it was very slight and subtle movement.  THAT had me freaked out.  I didn't fall asleep until 3 a.m. and then woke up at 7:30.  It was one of the longest days so far.  I'm glad all that's over and that I'm feeling tons better today.  And he's been moving around pretty good!

Today was the first baby shower!  It was amazing.  It was at the Palace Theater in one of the upstairs rooms.  A lot of my close friends and friends of the family were there.  My dear friend April made the BEST cupcakes!  I actually mananged to get one down!  :P  The food was all so yummy.  My sister and friend, Sue, planned a couple games that were cute.  The first one was a baby food tasting game.  It was disgusting.  YUCK!  The first sample was peas.  I gagged a little.  I was totally disgusted, lol.  The next one, I believe, was apples, pears, and kiwi.  That one was definitely the best.  Then came the mangos and something.  Finally was the sweet potatoes and chicken I think.  Again - gross.  The last game was super-cute.  It was a matching game.  Everyone that was at the shower was listed on one side on a piece of paper, then the meanings of their names were listed on the right.  We had to try and guess and match names with meanings.  Too funny and cute!  Baby got lots of cute stuff and necessities.  I came home and put it all out and wrote all my thank-yous.  Here's a little picture of what all Baby got today.



We have cheer tryouts this coming week, so that's why I'm updating the blog a few days early.  I know I will have NO time this week for internet stuff.  At least very minimal.

SO, on Tuesday I will be 30 weeks!  Wow!  Only 10 weeks left!  That's just insane.  When I think about everything left to do, 10 weeks kinda stresses me out.  But I know it will all be fine and tons of fun!  As of last week, the baby is now the size of a squash!  He's between 15" and 17", which is crazy because that's only a few inches away from what he'll be at birth!  Ahhh!!!  He's starting to have sleep and wake cycles.  I know the biggest wake cycle he has is anywhere from 9:30 p.m.-midnight.  He goes NUTS at night.  You can see bulges in my belly and little pokes and jabs.  All of his senses are fully developed now and he's having some major brain and nervous system developments.  Kyle and are I getting more and more excited to meet this baby and discover what he looks like and his personality!


Until next week...